My experience moving from Ireland to America alone and how it shaped me

I bet you’re reading this and wondering about the ‘what if?’ and ‘if not now, when?’.

Have no fear, I was exactly in the same boat in January of 2023 when I made the bold leap of moving from West Clare to Boston completely alone.

This blog will give the highs and lows of moving from your comfort zone to your new life in the States. Boston filled with many challenges, but has also shaped me into the bigger and better person that I am today. Nobody will make this decision for you, give yourself the nudge and delve into the unknown!

The move

I remember in 2020 when I was living in London, I had the opportunity to go on a graduate visa after graduating from Shannon College of Hotel Management with an undergraduate degree. I thought of everything you’re thinking right now, ‘I won’t know anyone’, ‘my friends are here’, ‘I’m comfortable where I am’. I decided to stay and unfortunately Covid-19 happened, putting life to a halt.

When I graduated with a master’s degree from Shannon College of Hotel Management, I knew I wanted to put my degree to use and move abroad. After moving back from a season at The Peligoni Club in Greece, I delved into the idea of America and those initial nerves took hold of me. The ‘what if’ and the ‘not now’. I had listened to a fair few podcasts on fear and remembered listening to the advice that if you do not overcome fear, fear will overcome you. After a few self-driven motivational talks with family and indeed myself, all of a sudden, an Aer Lingus ticket to Boston was booked! Initially I thought ‘what a silly mistake this will be’ and ‘how will I survive’, no doubt a lot of my family and friends thought the same.

New life in America

I arrived into Boston in February of 2023 and didn’t have any friends there initially. I stayed in a hostel for my first ten days and met so many likeminded people who had travelled solo to America from all over the world. We created a bond that we still hold to this day. Exploring the city and deliberately getting lost made me get to know this beautiful place that I now call home. I did find it hard realising that all my close friends that I used to do everything together with were no longer here, but I had to learn to become my own best friend, which did take a lot of time. On occasion I would bump into someone I got on with only to never see them again. Life throws people at you for a moment, a period, or an eternity, and I certainly learned this the hard way.

I moved into my apartment in east Boston near Jeffries Point in March of 2023 with two people I hadn't met before. This isn’t for the faint-hearted, as it can be an uncomfortable dynamic and certainly threw me outside my comfort zone. I had started my job not knowing a soul, having to quickly get used to the American way of life which can be so fast paced compared to back home. At the start I was extremely shy, but throwing myself out there and getting to know people through work resulted in making friends and connections and getting invites to attend all kinds of parties and events. Top tip is to put away your phone and talk to people, as we often use our phones as a method of distraction or protection from others, but the less I had my phone the more engaged I was with others. It certainly helped!

I finally felt like my new chapter in Boston was starting. Eating out alone became a ritual which I slowly became accustomed to (and should be normalised by the way). I realised that nobody is coming to invite you for that coffee, to attend that concert, to attend that boat cruise, or go shopping alone. You must commit and put yourself out there for these opportunities to happen, and learn that this experience is shaping you every day. As RuPaul famously says at the end of his episodes, if you don’t love yourself, how are you going to love anybody else?

Top tips for moving to America

At the start, I never thought I would be so much happier now, with a solid friend group making plans for the rest of summer, not only in Boston but all around America. The main advice I would give anyone thinking of coming to America is to do plenty of research into the career you want here for a year, and what aspects of that you can bring with you back to Ireland.

Also, think of things that you would personally like to improve on, for me it was doing things alone. I often attended events at the start of my time in Boston by myself, sometimes those nerves of loneliness and insecurities kicked in, but I reminded myself that doing my grad visa in America is a brave and courageous thing to do. Pat yourself on the back and be kinder to yourself. This time last year did you ever think that you would be doing an adventure like this one? As a friend from Greece once mentioned, pick the option that scares you the most.

To close this blog on a high and low note - nobody is coming for you to make this decision. Push yourself to be the best person you can be, and the rest will slowly fall into place. As my mum mentioned our grand aunts and uncles had to make a six-week transatlantic journey to America, whereas for us it’s six hours. Letters and telegrams are now replaced with texts and Facetime, so home will never be too far away.